Zappa Plays Zappa (16/4/2009)

So I had never been to the Palais before. Wow. Shocking. How can a man of my calibre have never been to such a Melbourne Institution? Well, to be honest, it may be because the bars are hard to find and there is no dance floor. But there is a fantastic stage, comfortable seats, and great sound. So while I would have enjoyed the 70's way of seeing Zappa (ie. Frank, while trashed and being a Dancin Fool), I had to make do with the 00's way (ie. Dweezil, while sober and trying to grow a chin). Thankfully... the 00's way was goddamn awesome. 

For those that missed the breifing, Dweezil Zappa is Frank Zappa's son. If you don't know who Frank Zappa is you have no business here. Perhaps you'd like to visit a more appropraite site for your limited brain. May I suggest Disney.com? Dweezil pretty much just plays his dads music, much like a tribute band. But, unlike a tribute band, they do it with not only the upmost respect for the source material, but with a rediculous amount of talent and down-to-earthness (please leave the word I'm looking for in the comments). 

Dweezil and co churned out 200 minutes worth of great mind bending tunes... a few of the favorites (Don't eat the Yellow Snow, Dirty Love, Willie the Pimp) and a few not so well known (A 30 minute version of King Kong was bizaare). Every band member was possibly the best I've seen ever... I've never had much respect for Xylophonists until now. 

After the show, the band stuck around and did a meet and greet with the audience, a move that most small bands don't even do. Such a lack of ego was startling to see, especially after what was such a great show. Take note other bands. 

The Good China (9/4/2009)

Revolver
Or the 'volver (say it with an ausie accent) as a friendly dude on the tram told me. Despite the nature of the venue, as we've said before, I like the place; there's a nice lounge room feel to the place. Possibly a bit too comfortable as I fell asleep during the second band so I even missed their name. Always an entry fee - mostly a fair price, plenty of drink variety at average prices, reasonable sound and a surprisingly good crowd (i think the bands are too early for the regulars). Based my previously defined criteria I'd give it a 70% plus 10% for comfort, equates to a total venue score of 80%, but I've always been a fan of the 'volver.

Jbs'
These guys were pretty neat and I remember liking them - what's not to like about a song called 'shit! Werewolves!'. They had an interesting thing going with a drum machine; I dislike drum machines in general and this was no exception. They were using for some of the less interesting repetitive stuff like hand claps and the like. Other than that minor distraction, we did enjoy the show and like what they're doing. I'd give 33%, keep it up dudes.

The Good China
As usual we got a great show from these guys featuring some cool songs we hadn't heard before. This time - thankfully - with proper mixing so we could hear everyone. I have to say also there was a noticeable and welcome lack of ego coming from the stage which I have disliked at previous shows. Their EP is highly recommended, it has some great tracks, all/most of which they played. These guys have more stage presence than most gigs we've been to in terms of headcount! They also put on a good show that was well worth seeing, I like that it's a different set overtime I see them; many bands underestimate the necessity of this. I'll give them 67%.

I do have a brief question for them though (because I have reason to believe you google your band name - everyone does it, don't worry): I am a massive fan of the violin work in general, particularly at the end of the opening track on your EP, why have you suddenly ditched it when playing it live? the song didn't climax for me without it! it felt like when wolfmother used to be played on the radio but the commercial stations would cut out the guitar solos to dumb it down for the public; a tad disappointing! Still, you're doing something great though, all the best.

Overall I'd give this gig 48%. Seems a bit harsh I know, but this is compared to any other gig and I haven't ruled out negative scores as a possibility: a certain gig we saw at the evelyn would classify for this honour!

BELATED MARCH OVERVIEW!!!!

Ok, I've been slack. But I've eating a bowl of stew that I cooked (Pork and Cider if anyone's wondering) with great dumplings... so I'm in a good mood and I'm Pumped. 

I've been a bit slack through March, but I'm still ahead... just. At this rate I'm looking at 104 gigs by the end of the year. I better lift my game! As for Patrique, I have no comment.

TOP 5 BANDS IN NO ORDER

Taking into account talent, stage presence and how surprised I was at their awesomeness.

Holy shit... thank god for this blog... I have no idea who I saw in March...

The Harpoons

I didn't see their whole set at the Espy, but have seen them before. I like Little Red, and this band does much the same things, maybe a little more surf-rock, plus they have a lady. What's not to like? People bopping around the dance floor... I felt like I was in Cry Baby. Keep a big fat eye out. 

Fearless Vampire Killers

I've mentioned them before, and I'll do it again. Awesome. My favourite Melbourne band of the moment. I cannot fault them... even with a mystery replacement guitarist. Covering wipe out? You guys......

Primitive Calculators

I had so much fun at this gig, even though all signs pointed to shite. Melodies- next to none. Subtlety - What's that? But they yelled their way into my heart... it felt like I was hugging steel wool. Swearing is awesome though, and drum machines in punk songs rock. I never would have guessed.

Beardyman

I so wanted to put Hoops in this list, but not technically a band or artist (still a matter of debate whether DJs count as a 'gig')... they did look hot though. But Beardyman was better anyway, and originality is king. Excellent. Great. The best. Only having a beard could have made this any better (either him or I).

The Bittersweets

Wow. Even I'm surprised this was in the list. But going by criteria- talent, stage presence, how surprised I was... these guys tick all the boxes. I had loads of fun at this gig... and I felt a little bit better than everyone else in the process. 

Venue of the Month

The Palace

Only because Bacardi got their money on it and it looked really cool. Kinda like a train station. Awesome lighting and sound... no beer this night, but I still enjoyed. It's a pretty cool venue for bands. From all reports (a friend doing 10 gigs in 2009), Razorlight rocked it there the other night... embracing the venue and it's stupid amount of levels. Fun times. 

THE BRUNO KIRBY AWARD FOR MOST BEST BAND THAT MIGHT NOT BE THE BEST BUT I SEE GREAT THINGS FOR THEM (And even though they're kind of a comedic actor they were in the Godfather 2)...

Rush in Attack

Any band that can play a whole set of songs that could be 'their one good song' gets tick from me. While I don't like their name, they sound good, and were a perfect soundtrack to me drinking too much. Yay. Runners up were Hey Fever. But they're far too young for this award. 

M83 - V Festival Sideshow (1/4/2009)

After a brief hiatus I've returned to gigging with the best of 'em!

The Prince of Wales Bandroom - 50%
Located in St Kilda and hosts similar sized shows to Richmond's corner hotel. 'The Prince' bar - next door - has a reputation for being a munter hangout which as it ended up, had a very negative effect on our experience of the band. No tap beer; enough said. Overall I'd give the place - brace yourself for the first rating - 50%. Wow great fence sitting, gotta start small.

M83 - 62%
I have noticed that of the french bands I know, I really like them all: air, daft punk, justice and m83 Just off the top of my head. How did they go? to be honest I felt generally ripped off: $68 for a 50 minute set, only really enjoyed 3.5 songs and for the first half hour we were surrounded by Melbourne's most munted. I originally thought to myself 'wow, everyone is really getting into this show' and 'how did we get into gigging with the likes of these people?' But after conducting a brief glancing survey of the room I discovered that the people around us were the only ones in the room that carrying on to such a level of...berserk?! These kids were out of control, you'd know the kind: no regard for anyone around them, dancing with their focus on their own hands and completely off their tits!
In essence, I like what this band can do and love a bunch of their recordings. Some songs are too poppy for my liking - graveyardgirl - but others such as Guitar and a heart are excellent. They translated this awesomeness to a live performance very well. I like french accents in general and had plenty of that at the show. The Drummer was awesome, he was so good they had to encase him behind a glass partition on the stage.

I also think I should disregard the first half hour of their show; I found myself hating the band for their song choices because they were making Melbourne's most munted more active; that's not very fair. Especially when we had a good night overall despite the circumstances.
So I'd score the band like this:
Recording quality = 10/15
Stage presence = 11/15
Performance = 7/15
Overall = 28/45 = 62.2%

Gig rating: organisation - 5/10, awesomeness - 5/10, cost - 0/10, average band rating 62%, venue rating 5/10.
Overall = 51%

Rating system!

That's right, the following rating system will feature on my future posts.

Overall Score
After much hard thought the overall gig rating will be based on 50% average band rating, 20% venue rating, and 10% for each of the following: organisation, awesomeness and cost.

Venues
Will be rated on even weighting of the following: bar drinks variety, bar prices, standard venue entry fee, sound quality and crowd.

Bands
I'll be scoring bands with even weightings of:
Recording quality (do they have good music to play live? How much do you like the recordings?), stage presence (cool looking stage equipment? do they move around enough? Do they play everything you hear live?) and Performance (song choice? bonus bits for songs? Well played?).

The Bicardi Express Train- Choo Woo (26/3/2009)

I won tix to this event, so woo for me. As a discalimer, I should say that the whole thing was just a big ad for Bicardi, so even though it would be easy to complain about the rediculous amount of advertising and lack of beers, I won't. The Palace was a cool venue, as always... despite the rediculous amount of advertising and lack of beers.

Hoops DJ's

We walked into the venue and were greeted with the awesome sight of hot girls DJing. I could get used to that. These girls are from Sydney, and they can party. Between each band they supplied the grooves... grooves that really made the night. Hip Hop, Crunk, Electro... loads of fun. Did I mention they're hot too?

Lost Valentinos

The last time I saw a band bring out an extra floor tom out to the Palace Stage was the Temper trap... and while it was cool, it failed to be awesome. Bicardi. When the Lost Valentinos did it.... it was awesome. Playing Indie/Electro stuff.... kinda like the Rapture (I should really avoid these kind of comparisons)this was really really goood. The singer has stacks of energy, which more than made up for......

Van Shit

I used to like this band. Then they turned to shit. Now they are below that... mega boring on stage, playing music for 13 year old girls. I probably have an unfair hatred towards them, but freedom of expression means I can say what I like. Boo.

BlueJuice

I don't like Bluejuice either (why did I ever go to this thing?). I couldn't stand that Vitriol song when it was on Triple J and everyone liked it... I thought it was just shitty tounge in cheek Aus Hip Hop stuff. Gracing the stage in Who Made Who-esque (read... direct copy) skeleton outfits, I was prepared for the worst. But I didn't get the worst. I was surprised at my enjoyment of the performance, the energy of the two singers, and the harmonies in one of the songs. Surprise of the night. Out of the bands... not including Lost Valentinos. 

British India

I was thirsty so I got a drink. British India sounded neither British, or Indian. Bicardi. Should be called Sydney Sydneyia. Coz they sound like Sydney. I think they're from Melbourne though. The crowd liked them though. And I am aware of their songs... I just don't care for them.

After another awesome bit of tuneage by Hoops (heart) we were presented with...

Beardyman

Strangly, this man was beardless. I knew he was a beatboxer... which I wasn't too excitied about... that stuff gets old really quick. But this dude not only beat boxes, he records it live, plays it back on a couple of Kaos pads and genuinely rocks my shit. After danceing solidly through 15 minutes of crazy remixes of Livin on a Prayer, Teardrop and Insomnia... I realised that everything I was hearing had been created by this guys mouth. Right there... live. Astounding. My highlight of the month. His remix of Teardrop by Massive Attack I will never forget. 

Groove Armada

Ok, I had a few (expensive) drinks, I had jsut been rocked by Beardyman, I was in love with 3 ladies, and the last train was to arrive shortly. Bicardi. Do I stick around for Groove Armadas set, or do I pike early? After 20 minutes of unknown commercial house... I hit the road. And of course, the moment I turn my back, the most awesome light show since Daft Punk Lit of the room. These lasers were stunning.... big thick bastards in spaz colours. No idea what was going on or how. But the music was still boring, so I went home. I'm lame like that sometimes. 

I later read they did a 5 hour set. God dammit... I miss some cool shit sometimes. 

All in all, a good night.... lack of beer gets a minus, but Bicardi is really good. Bicardi. I now will see the Lost Valentinos again, and even listen out for Blue Juice. Hoops will get me dancin again, and Beardyman will continue to astound me as I youtube the snot out of him. Bicardi.  

Goodbye forever St Jeromes (25/3/2009)

St Jeromes is dead. While it's the cool thing to be upset at this prospect, while I was there saying my goodbyes, drinking my lukewarm beer, outside, surrounded by coolsies, standing in a pool of water.... I realised it's a shithole. I've had good nights there, no doubt, but I've had good nights in Lilydale as well, so whatever. At least the music is good.... ish. 

Breaker Morant

Not to be confused with the Bryan Brown film, this is a band. I did not go to St Jeromes to see a film. That would be silly. Noisy punk stuff... deliberatly shitty lyrics, simple riffs etc. As the smart ass behind me said 'Like Eddy Current but shit'. Fairly accurate.... Oh yeah, the sound sucked too, because the mixer was behind the band. Go figure. They weren't the worst band I've seen all year... or all month for that matter, but not for me. 

Primitive Calculators (Check out the dumb song I can't stop it)

So this Melbourne band started 28 years or go or so... why weren't they playing at Sound Relief then? Does Micheal Gudinski have a problem with the C word or something? These guys were playing more vintage punk, but did it less ironically than the young kids before hand. I could have gone either way when the band began, the combination of dodgy guitar, stupid lyrics, aggressive vocals and a drum machine wasn't really doing it for me. But a buttload of swearing, addictive beats and a cover of shout later I was hooked. After the last tune I was almost sad to say goodbye. To the band I mean... St Jeromes- good riddance. I think I got hepatitis from your toilets.